Wednesday, 27 October 2010

The Psychic Octopus Detective Show



Following on from yesterdays post it appears that Paul the Octopus will star posthumously in a documentary about his life including a conspiracy thriller from Jiang Xiao Who Killed Paul the Octopus? that claims he died before the World Cup Final on July 9th and the Germans replaced him with an identical octopus.

Given the wide media coverage of this celebrity cephalopod I thought of other programs he could star in.
The obvious choice was some sort of maverick detective series where Paul plays a psychic on loan to the Cephalopod Bureau of Investigation to solve the crimes that non-maverick detectives can't fathom (apart from the mystery of his own death).

So I give you MentalFish (bad pun - but there are others at the end of this post).

After sitting through too many TV detective shows you start to notice certain patterns: maverick detective, tough chief, romantic entanglements.  It also makes you wonder who commissions these programs and what the creative process is that leads to them.  I imagine it to sound something like this:


TV Exec: We desperately need another detective show, something edgey
Creative: How about a lead that was a bit of a maverick?
TV Exec: But not the usual police detective.   Something like CBS's The Mentalist
(Long pause)
Creative: How about the psycholist
TV Exec: Sounds a bit like a cyclist
Creative: Mental PI
TV Exec: It can't be the same,  it needs a twist
(Long Pause)
Creative:  What about the Cementalist?  He's a intelligent architect that specialises in deaths on construction sites
TV Exec: I'm not sure about the setting
Creative: What about the Dentalist?  He's a forensic dentist who can identify victims and their murderers from just their teeth
TV Exec: Not sure we've got a big enough filling in our schedule
Creative: The Lentilist? He's a vegetarian...
TV Exec: I think I've heard enough.
Creative: So you've had an idea then?
TV Exec: Yes, I'm thinking of a show called the Psycholist...

Next week: MonkFish, Charlies Angelfish, Without a Plaice

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